Mohamed and I Return to Iraq

June 22, 2009 By You Served Editorial Staff
Posted in Guest Blogger

This post is contributed by Dr. Diane Hassan, author of “Angels Among Us Even in Iraq”, who is currently participating in “On Loan at You Served” as a guest blogger.

When Mohammed and I arrived at Baghdad International airport, we were met by Hashim and several family members. As we were collecting our luggage, a cousin leaned over and whispered, why did you come back, for freedom I whispered.

Things were the same in Baghdad as Hashim drove rapidly to our home. I gazed out the window looking at the various places we passed, people were in the market, shops were open, business as usual. One almost doubted the formation of the coalition.

Iraq was use to war, they had just completed a long war with Iran. Nothing prepared us for war with a super power.

My neighbors,were in the garden, when they saw us arrive, they came over to welcome Mohammed me home. I could tell the wonder in their eyes, why did I return when I was safe in America.

After settling in, Hashim returned to the office the next morning, Mohammed went to school. Life was the same. I would listen to the Iraqi news and hear about the troops in Kuwait. Saddam was settling in Kuwait. I listened to the voice of America every day at 12 o’clock, in order to hear what was happening around me. I heard Saddam had taken hostages from Kuwait and brought them to Baghdad. I knew they would be alright. Saddam would never hurt foreigners, he had enough Iraqies for that.

Every day family members of the hostages would talk to their love ones. I was attached to these family members, they were talking to Iraq as well. The hostages were freed..all the American news casters that came to Baghdad to interview Saddam were gone.

The coalition was coming to free Kuwait and in every Iraqi heart, free Iraq..Freedom is not Free…

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Rise of Saddam to Greater Power

June 19, 2009 By You Served Editorial Staff
Posted in Guest Blogger

This post is contributed by Dr. Diane Hassan, author of “Angels Among Us Even in Iraq”, who is currently participating in “On Loan at You Served” as a guest blogger.

Saddam was becoming more powerful and the members of the Baath party were becoming weaker. Saddam moved quickly with his ideas of bringing family members in position of power and finding excuses to imprison or execute old party members. He wanted to rid himself of any threat to his reign.

When Saddam saw the change in power in Iran, when the Shaw left, he felt it was a good time to invade Iran and recapture a strip of land he felt belonged to Iraq. Saddam thought it would take only a few weeks, the war lasted 7 long years. When the Iran war abruptly stopped, I was visiting in America. I saw the people rush into the streets, shooting in the air, women ripping their clothes. They were so happy they did not know how to react. The horrible war that cost the lives of sooo many young Iraqies and Iranians was finally over.

Saddam was not over. It was just a few months of peace.

I was watching Saddam on Iraqi t.v. visiting the country side. He would tell the people, we are not afraid. I thought what is he up to now. I had the feeling Saddam was going to war again, but where?

It was summer time, My son and I left in July to visit my parents. I was in Alabama when Saddam invaded Kuwait, I realized what he was talking about when he was telling his people, we are not afraid. I watched the news daily, I felt the pain of the Iraqi people they were tired, but they had no choice. The coalition began forming, Saddam was going to be at war with the world.

I felt this time Saddam would be ousted, a new government would form, the Iraqi people would be free. I wanted to be a part of the new free Iraq. I decided to return to Iraq. Against my parents protest, my son and I returned to Iraq. Saddam sent Iraqi airways to Jordan, my son and I were on the last plane that flew into Iraq..

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Saddam Coming into Power

June 17, 2009 By You Served Editorial Staff
Posted in Guest Blogger

This post is contributed by Dr. Diane Hassan, author of “Angels Among Us Even in Iraq”, who is currently participating in “On Loan at You Served” as a guest blogger.

I was getting used to living in Iraq. I was a second year medical student and pregnant. I delivered my son, Mohammed at the teaching hospital for University of Baghdad College of Medicine.

I had seven doctors with me the night he was born .. Now, I was wife, mother and student.

My husband’s family lived in the south of Iraq, Basrah. I had an Egyptian lady care for Mohammed while I was in school. When my second year was finished, I took my son and left for a visit to Alabama.

When it was time for me to return to Iraq, I decided it would be better if I left Mohammed with my parents. It was the hardest decision I ever made. During my third year at medical school, my son was in America, I had more time to devote to my studies. I visited the states, every summer, Saddam came to power when I was a third year medical.

The killings began the next day when he became President of Iraq. The people were happy,the party members were happy, they didn’t know the cruelty that was about to begin. It was the summer after my third year, my husband took me to the airport  in-order for me to return to Alabama to see my son and family.

He told me Saddam had called a meeting for that night. No one knew why. When I arrived in New York, I read the headlines, “attempted coup on Saddam”. I read all my husband’s closest friends names. That night when my husband went to the meeting, he and three of his friends rode together, two were taken that night and executed.

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My Life in Iraq

June 16, 2009 By You Served Editorial Staff
Posted in Guest Blogger

This post is contributed by Dr. Diane Hassan, author of “Angels Among Us Even in Iraq”, who is currently participating in “On Loan at You Served” as a guest blogger.

When I arrived in Baghdad in August 1976, I was excited about being in the land of Ali Baba and the forty thieves. I never realized at that point the hardship that lie ahead. My husband tried to protect me as much as possible from the dangers of Baghdad. 

I always had that inner feeling that I was in danger.. as the weeks passed and all the invitations to various homes started to dwindle, and my husband became busier; I was alone to wonder my apartment and sit on the floor in my living room and watch the unfamiliar world go by. I saw the numerous cars,people wearing abias, and horse drawn carriages pass my window.

They were unaware of a lonely South Alabama, Arab American watching them and wishing that she was a apart of their life. I was lucky to be able to visit the north of Iraq with my husbands friends. The North reminded me of California, it was beautiful. I was able to see a beautiful part of Iraq before Saddam started his destruction.

My life began in Iraq when I became a medical student. I had so many friends. I was no longer lonely ,I had a part in the ancient city, that i knew so little about. Although I was an Arab American,I did not know Arabic. I learned Arabic from my mother-law who lived in the South of Iraq ,Basrah. She came to visit me often and stayed for long periods of time.

I spoke Arabic with a Southern accent. My husband was Dean of the Dental School in 1976 when I arrived in Baghdad,later to become President of Mustansiriya Unversity ,one of the oldest Universities in the world. We had an apartment on the Tigris river and I had a driver who took me to class and returned me home. When the bridge was completed I was able to walk to class. I was now, a medical student, and the wife of the President of one best universities in Iraq.

I was so busy studying and socializing, I no longer had the time to be lonely. I felt my life was great. I was enjoying my classes and my friends.I was able to visit the museum and all the ancient sites in Iraq. I was able to visit my family in Alabama every summer. Airlines from all over the world flew to Baghdad.Baghdad was a beautiful busy city at night .The people were unaware of the suffering that lay ahead……

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Iraq Today, Iraq Yesterday

June 15, 2009 By You Served Editorial Staff
Posted in Guest Blogger

This post is contributed by Dr. Diane Hassan, author of “Angels Among Us Even in Iraq”, who is currently participating in “On Loan at You Served” as a guest blogger.

In my book I try to show how good the Iraqi people are ,no matter the type of government the people lived under. Good people are found all over the world,they just become a circumstance of their environment. I arrived in Iraq in august of 1975 at 12 midnight.

I remember vividly how I felt that night, it was like going back in time a 100 years. I was raised in a small town in South Alabama among family and friends. I never realized the cruelty found in the world. My adventure began as an innocent southern girl later to be transformed by the harsh reality of living under a dictator.

The Iraqi people were very kind to me and tried to help me adapt to my adoptive home. When I was shopping in the market they made sure no one cheated me. They were very caring and protective. 

When Saddam came to power, things began to change in Iraq. He caused a division in the Baath party. He knew that he would eventually place family members in position of power. As an outsider looking in to what was going on in Iraq, I felt the evil that would take place in Iraq. Saddam started the Iran war and was the cause for Desert Storm I saw a country that was very rich in resources become a land of beggars because of the leadership.

As a medical student, I treated patients that were dying from malnutrition because of the embargo. Simple medications were not available, that could save many lives. The people suffered in silence. The most important freedom we have in America is the freedom of speech, which was unknown in Iraq.

As the years went by,one learns to survive by not having an opinion, not trusting one’s closest friends or relatives. People become robots, learning to say everything is great. Freedom is not Free!!!

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Eight Ways to Save at Restaurants

June 12, 2009 By Kate Kashman
Posted in Guest Blogger

As much as I try to limit our restaurant eating, there are three events that seem to increase the number of times we eat out:  birthdays, traveling, and moving.  With four kids and two adults, eating in restaurants gets expensive pretty quickly.  There are a couple of strategies that we use to make sure that our final bill doesn’t exceed our budget.  Check them out: 

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Don’t Buy New

June 10, 2009 By Kate Kashman
Posted in Guest Blogger

Buying things is an inevitable part of life.  I mean, I’ve heard of people who scrounge everything from street corners and dumpsters, but most of us don’t have the time or inclination for that sort of lifestyle.  Therefore, we buy things.  There are, however, quite a few things that you don’t need to buy brand new.  Buying used is economical and it’s also environmentally friendly.  What are the best bets for buying second-hand?

1. Books, CDs, DVDs, and Video Games:  Used media is a huge business, which makes it easy to track down the stuff that you want at a discount price.  If you want to read the latest bestseller, see if your library has it.  For things that you want to own, check out the amazing number of online sources that sell used items.   Amazon.com, eBay, and half.com (owned by eBay)  all offer great deals on used media.  Just tonight, I went online to order some classic books for my kids on Half.com, and I spent less than four dollars per book, including shipping and handling.  Most of the books were priced at 75 cents each, and because I was able to get them all from the same seller, shipping and handling was only $1.89 per book.
2. Baby Gear and Kids Toys:  Let’s face it, baby stuff and toys are a huge expenses, especially considering the short amount of time that most of it is used.  Check out yard sales and consignment shops for great deals on all the stuff you’ll need for babies, and most toys until they are about 5.  I did purchase new car seats for my children, for safety reasons, and a new stroller because they tend to get awfully icky.  The crib and all the other gear was obtained from yard sales.  Be sure to check the recall list on any baby gear you buy.
3. Clothing:  Obviously, there are some things that you certainly want to purchase new, but consignment shops and thrift stores can be a fantastic way to fill out your wardrobe without emptying out your wallet.  Most towns and military bases have a thrift shop and consignment shops are a big business across the US.  Women’s and children’s clothes tend to be easier to find than men’s clothes.  Keep your eyes open for discount days and markdown schedules.  At my husband’s last duty station, the thrift shop had a dollar day where all clothing was one dollar per item.  I happened to find a huge stash of cute summer dresses in my size and I doubled my wardrobe.  The best part is that you’re not out a lot of money if the clothes don’t work out for you.  How often have you bought something only to discover that you don’t like it quite so much once you get it home?  At thrift store prices, it isn’t such a catastrophe if you make a bad choice.  Things that are particularly great to buy used includes winter coats, snow clothes, and dressy dresses.  I’m not a big fan of buying used shoes, but I will pick up a like-new pair if the size and price is right.
4. Cars:  New cars have that lovely new car smell, but that is a very expensive smell.  The average car loses at least ten percent of it’s value as soon as it is purchased, and the depreciation the first few years is quite steep.  Whether you choose a year-old model at a 20% discount, or an older car for a few thousand dollars, you’ll save quite a bundle on the up-front costs and your insurance rates will be lower, as well.  Check the CarFax report and have a used car inspected by a trusted mechanic, or consider purchasing a used car certified by the manufacturer.
5. Exercise and Sports Equipment:  Sporting gear can be expensive, and a remarkable amount of it is rarely used.  There are tons of places to find sports gear:  yard sales, Craig’s List, freecycle, thrift stores or a Play It Again Sports store.  Obviously, you want to avoid buying used footwear and anything else that has molded itself to the player’s body. 

I’m sure that many of you have things that you wouldn’t buy new.  Share in the comments and help us all save a little money!

For more ideas on stretching your paycheck, visit The Paycheck Chronicles.

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The Freezer Menu

June 1, 2009 By Kate Kashman
Posted in Guest Blogger, Spouse and Family, Uncategorized

Hi, readers!  I’m so excited to be guest blogging here at You Served.  Of course, this fun opportunity would come at the busiest time of my year:  the end of school.  In many ways, that makes this article even more appropriate, because this is exactly the time of year when I find myself pulling something out of the freezer instead of pulling through the drive-thru window.  If you enjoy, click on over to The Paycheck Chronicles  for more!

Let me guess…at least one night in the last month, you have ordered pizza, driven through a fast food place or picked up take out when you hadn’t planned to, right?  That is pretty common.  Life is moving fast and sometimes the thought of preparing dinner is just overwhelming.  Eating out or ordering in is expensive and not very healthy.  What’s a solution?

Here’s what I do…I have what I call our “freezer menu.”  It is a list of five or so days of meals that are quick and easy to make, and will last a long time in the cupboard or freezer.  I’m the first to admit that they aren’t the most healthy or glamorous meals, but they are better than nearly everything from a restaurant and the price is right.  What kind of things might you put on a freezer menu?  Here’s a sample of what we might have on hand: 

• Frozen chicken patties and frozen french fries with frozen edamame
• Boxed scalloped potatoes, frozen green beans and a ham slice.
• Macaroni and cheese and fish sticks with a veg
• Spaghetti with jarred sauce and turkey meatballs.  Add frozen bread if you want to be snazzy.
• Kielbasa or Smoked Sausage with boxed rice:  spanish, saffron, whatever you like – Yum

I’m pretty sure that you all have some variety of freezer menus in your minds, or maybe even in your freezers.  Please share your ideas!  For those of you who haven’t tried this trick, give it a try.  If it is too much to buy a week’s worth of meals at once, just add one meal a week.  The first time you manage to avoid Dominos or Burger King, it will pay for itself.  Your wallet and your waistband will thank you!

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Can You Assist?

May 26, 2009 By myheroesathome
Posted in Guest Blogger, Life in the Military, Spouse and Family

I got a flat tire today. A blow out – causing the steering wheel to jerk violently in my hands and the car to veer to the left, into oncoming traffic. Somehow, I managed to pilot myself safely to the shoulder, and get out to assess the damage. I was on a busy rural highway and it was 75 degrees and sunny, which means people where driving way too fast, with their radios way too loud… barely turning their heads to glance at me as they whizzed past. The tire, of course, was ripped wide open. (No, I’m not sure how that happened. Yes, I am sure that it was in no way my fault.) That means my usual go-to fix… the can of Fix-A-Flat stored in my glove box, was not going to cut it.

Did I cry? Did I throw my hands up in the air in despair? Hell, no! I am an Army wife. And Army wives are resourceful.

So, the plan consisted of standing beside my blown-out tire with the can of Fix-A-Flat in my hand, looking altogether perplexed and damsel-in-distress-like.

Can you guess what happened next?

About 45 cars sped by with no sign of tapping their breaks to avoid hitting me, much less offering assistance.

To me, this could have been a metaphor for deployment. Here I am, obviously in the middle of a crisis, and everyone else is zipping by in their own lives, taking care of business. Oh sure, we all say that if we saw a motorist in need of assistance on the side of the road we would stop to help – but would we really? Would we risk being inconvenienced, or late for our own plans? (Did I mention that I was in my bathing suit, a T-shirt and flip flops? And still, I got…. Nothing.)

How many times have people offered to “be there” for our military families while their soldiers are deployed and then not offered when help is actually needed?

I have car trouble a lot.

When Paul was deployed, I ran out of gas in the middle of a busy intersection. (No, the reserve tank light was not on. Yes, I am still sure it was in no way my fault.) I was blocking traffic. It was pouring rain. I was wearing a suit and 3-inch heels. So there I am, standing in the rain beside my car – Army wife sticker and blue-star banner proudly displayed in the back window – wondering why the car has suddenly stopped moving.  Clearly, not a good day for me. And what do the good citizens around me do? They honk, and shout, and flip me the bird… like this is my plan all along, to pull right into their way and then stop my car. Really? It doesn’t even occur to you to ask if I need help?

This time, my resourceful Army wife plan consisted of sobbing uncontrollably, screaming ‘My husband is deployed, dammit!’ at drivers passing me and finally concluding that all civilians are jerks and hoofing it a ½ mile to the nearest gas station with my heels in my hand and my make-up running down my face.

The morale of the story? (Besides the obvious conclusion that I should not be trusted in a car alone.) First, if we assume that someone else will assist, we could be stranding a heck of a lot of damsels. And second, sometimes those who need help have a hard time asking for it… especially if you’re driving by too fast.

Read more from Katie Dyer at Heroes At Home

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Remembering Bruno

By myheroesathome
Posted in Guest Blogger, Life in the Military, Patriotism, Spouse and Family, Why We Serve

Since I became part of a military family, Memorial Day – along with Veteran’s Day, and Armed Forces Day – has taken on a special meaning. I am privileged to know, through my husband’s service and my own work with Heroes At Home, many soldiers and their families and I have seen the sacrifices they make. Last Memorial Day, as my husband served in Afghanistan, I stood at a cemetery service and listened to the bugler play Taps for our fallen troops, wondering if Paul would someday be among them. He came home. But today, as I watched the parade and drove past the row of flags erected along Main Street in our small town, I though of his best friend from college, his Army buddy of more than 10 years, who served bravely with him in Afghanistan, but didn’t return.

Bruno DeSolenni

Captain Bruno DeSolenni, a member of the Oregon Army National Guard, was killed when his convoy hit an IED last September. He was 32. Bruno and Paul went to college together and received their commissions in the same class. They worked together in the Guard for a decade, stationed in different cities, but connected thoroughly daily phone calls. When the mission to Afghanistan was offered, they made the decision to go together.

Paul wasn’t there when Bruno was killed. He was in Australia with me for R&R. When we got the news, Paul returned immediately to grieve with the rest of his team in Afghanistan and I went home to attend Bruno’s funeral.

I only met Bruno once, a couple of years ago. He and Paul passed through town on the way from one training to another and I met them for dinner. He was handsome, charming, and mischievous.

“Do you have any single friends with kids?” he asked.
“No, why?”
“That’s what I’m looking for,” he answered. “Instant family – just add Bruno!”

We spent no more than two hours together before the guys had to leave town. But I know Bruno better than that brief meeting could ever allow. I spent four days in California with his family after his death. I attended his rosary service and funeral and burial. I met his high school friends and his brothers, sister and parents. I spent time with his fiancée and the men who had served alongside him. I saw pictures and heard stories. I laughed, and cried, and prayed, and celebrated him.

And here’s what I know about Bruno: He was brave, and genuine and caring. He loved kids and hoped to have a big family. He was the peacemaker among those around him, always helping to heal rifts and bring people together again. He had tremendous faith, even in the most difficult situations. He prayed daily in Afghanistan and didn’t hesitate to share his beliefs with others. He was funny; always providing comic relief for his fellow soldiers. Women loved him, and he enjoyed the attention from ladies young and old alike. He was a good soldier. He was a good leader. While most of the Afghan army called their mentors Capt. Smith and Sgt. Jones, Bruno was just ‘Bruno.’ And the men he served with – both American and Afghan – adored him. Most importantly, what I know about Bruno is that he believed in the work he died doing.

Always making us laugh

As Memorial Day draws to a close, I hope you will take a moment to remember Bruno, and all the others who have given their lives for our freedom. I hope you will lift your thoughts to all of those who are still in harm’s way, and their families who wait at home, hoping that by next Memorial Day, they will all be together again. No one forced them to serve. They do it because they believe in freedom. They believe in us. Today – and everyday – I hope we can show them that we believe in them, too.

Read more from Katie Dyer at Heroes At Home

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