Fear Not the Thingamajig

August 24, 2009 By LL
Posted in Guest Blogger, Spouse and Family

A couple of weeks ago, ArmyWifeToddlerMom, one of my favorite milspouse bloggers out there, posted triumphant video of her slaying the broken toilet and like a phoenix, it rose anew, to be flushed with glee and ease (she also has a suggestion for earning brownie sash patches for successful things accomplished and it’s a funny post).

I started thinking that single moms like me (newly divorced or not) and military wives could really help each other out. See, some of us are pretty handy with tools. I have a toolbox that is overflowing (I keep meaning to buy a bigger one) and I’ve changed the brakes on my car, fixed many a toilet, fixed my dryer, replaced power switches and on and on. My friend, who was newly separated, she was clueless about a lot of stuff and I made her at least TRY to fix things. She’s a veritable Tim the Toolman Taylor after 2 years (or maybe I should say Al cuz she’s pretty successful in her repairs, unlike the grunty one).

So I want to encourage you women out there whose husbands have deployed and you are looking at the lawn in terror cuz the grass is getting high and you’re not sure WHAT to do to even get the mower started, let alone how to use the trimmer or how to wield a screwdriver, BE CONFIDENT. You actually CAN do things without testosterone coursing through your veins and without having a hairy chest (If you do have the unfortunate latter, I suggest plucking). This is not rocket science. It’s so easy a Man can do it, ok? Even the 12 year old neighbor boy can do it because you see HIM out there mowing. Or trimming. Or edging.

So pull up your big girl panties and look things over (my daughter read this over, laughed at this part in particular and said, “Even put on some boxers if it makes you feel better!”). Instead of spending $50-$100 on a service call for the repairman to get behind your dryer to plug it back in (only to later find out your kids were playing hide & seek and accidentally unplugged it), look around. What’s the worst that can happen? You have to call a repairman to come fix it? Yeah.

Email friends. Ask if they’ve ever come across something like “this.” Have a Mowing Party! Invite your girlfriends over and, with pitchers of sangria or mojitos, look over the lawn mower, read the instructions on it, look your model up online for a user’s manual. BE FEARLESS. Teach each other. Support each other. Get greasy and dirty!

When hubby comes home and sees that not only is the lawn mowed, it’s edged neatly, and you can tell him you did it yourself, his eyes may pop out of his head, but you will feel such a sense of accomplishment. You can show him that scar on your thumb and say, “Honey, this is where the torque wrench slipped when I was changing the brakes. I hit my thumb on the lugnut bolt. But I got it done and saved us $300 at Midas!” He will most likely faint, but then you can be the Rhett Butler to his Scarlett and help him get over the vapors. It will be a defining moment in your relationship, trust me.

Above all, know this, we are all out here supporting you. Any one of you are welcome to email me, or some male milblogger, and ask, “Hey, listen, this weird thingamajig fell out of the dishwasher and I want to try to fix it myself. Have any clue what it is and how to put it back in?” (A picture is always helpful in these instances). We may not know what to do, but then again, we may. Or we may know someone who is an outstanding mechanic or repairman who could walk you through the process over the phone.

Be confident in yourself. You have such huge burdens, keeping the homefires burning for your deployed husbands, and worrying them is something that I know a lot of you try to avoid. So reach out. Learn how a toilet works. Learn how to replace a doorknob. Find hubby’s secret stash of WD-40 so your front door will stop squeaking and making you nuts. (Word of advice, if you go digging around his workbench, leave it the way you found it. Men are territorial about that kind of stuff. If you inhale deeply, you might smell pee where he marked the legs of His Space, m’kay?)

Anyway, as they say, DRIVE ON. We’re here when you need us, and we might even let you borrow our tools.

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