Last week, Vice Chief of Staff of the Army testified before Congress. One of the things he told the panel should scare every single member of the military:
“Spouses were telling me that their husbands were not reintegrating with the family. They just realized that that was too hard to do in the short period of time they had (before returning to war) and they would back off from the family, which creates the relationship problems.”
Dear brothers and sisters in arms, we CANNOT afford to close ourselves off from our families. They are the only ones that can see us through the difficulties of deployment. They are the best thing we have in dealing with our issues and understanding our sacrifices and duties. They sacrifice with us while we are gone and if we shut them out, we denigrate THEIR sacrifices.
It’s hard to ratchet down to the CONUS mindset knowing that in just 12 short months, you’ll be back in the combat mindset, but it’s something that must happen for the sake of our futures and our families’ futures. It would be different if there was a definite end date to these wars we’re fighting, but the enemy has a vote. We don’t now, so we need to take every step possible to find normalcy in the sea of conflict and combat we are so frequently subjected to.
If we can’t lean on and support our families, who can we turn to? Our non-military friends have no idea. Most communities have no clue. Our fellow troops have their own problems and marriages to worry about (though they are also a source to be tapped into). Our families should be our number one priority, not the Army, not the mission. Nothing should hold a higher priority in our lives except maybe our God.
If you make the Army a career, it will last 20-30 years. Your family will be there for much longer if you do it right. Why let something so temporary as the Army take precedence over something you’ve sworn to protect for “time and all eternity” or “until death do you part?”
Yes, the war is draining us emotionally and physically, but if we don’t take the battle to the enemy, they will bring it back home again. We are stronger than that. We cannot let them win by killing us physically and mentally abroad and killing our marriages back home. Now, go your spouse and ______________. (you fill in the blank)
Great post…it is hard for you guys… harder than any of us can imagine… especially getting ready for deployments and having to get into the battle mind-set. I am so proud of both my daughter in laws they love my sons very much and have been there no matter how hard it has been… I admire all miltitary wives/husbands for their sacrifice. I cannot speak as a spouse but I can speak as a mom, no matter what … I love my sons more than anything in the world. Even when their ‘communication’ isn’t what I wish it would be … and the hugs aren’t always there when I wish they were, I never forget what they have to sacrifice and endure while I sit in my air conditioned home, go to the fridge whenever I want and walk outside without fear. I have told them both at different times… if I could take their place so they could be home with their families … I would do it in a heartbeat (you guys do realize that if us moms went in there to fight….’political’ correctness would be out the window and the insurgents would run and hide in their caves or holes forever! (‘we’d nag them to death!). You are right … and even when you guys are not ‘perfect’ your family loves you very much, always! God Bless!
Free resource solely for returning veterans to support their need to connect with each other and share yet remain anonymous. These women can reach out to others who have experienced the same concerns
of re-entry, alcoholism, drug addiction or prescription addiction due to chronic pain, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), incidents of service time rape, depression, unwarranted anger, or Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) due to war time trauma.
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