Reina & Gabrielle Davison
I'm Reina Davison, and I'm a Vietnam veteran. My daughter is Gabrielle, and she's a high school senior. We're both, more than our earned titles, more than the sum of our parts. By grace, we are made up of what General Colin Powell said: "there are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, learning from failure."
My journey into the military began when I too-was a 17 year old senior in high school. I began to abandon my original plans, and my peers, in accepting college offers; and instead became deeply distracted and preoccupied with the radio, television, Life magazine, and newspaper coverage of our country at war in Vietnam. I felt a surge-unlike any other-which I had ever experienced. It was similar to when I had decided at age 14-that it was time for me to hold down a job in between school activities-and begin to save up for college! What a-talk and dance-I had to do with my parents back then! This time I could probably get my father's support with this sudden "calling" to serve (he had served in the U.S. Coast Guard Red Cross ships during W.W.II) However, I was uncertain that I would receive the same support from my mother. Just as I had suspected, my mother's response was: "what are you thinking? The answer is 'no' because you're going to come back in one of those black bags just like you've watched on the news!"
Respect and obeying your parents was a revered value in our home and that of our family of heritage. This of course led to my humble response to my mother: "as you wish." I then proceeded to enroll for a semester in the local college, and responded to the U.S. Army by signing up with their Delayed Entry Program. This would allow me to sign up when I turned 18 years of age-at which time I would no longer be a minor. Ultimately, my mother and I reconciled, right before I departed for boot camp—at the airport—she gave me her blessing. I believe that during those months that I attended college prior to entering the military, I was a silent testimony to my mother; that my calling would not go away, and neither would my desire to become a successful college graduate! You see, my mother was not only concerned about my wellbeing, but she was also afraid that the military would interfere with my completion of a college degree.
My parents were not college graduates; in fact, they were hard-working immigrants raising seven children (3 boys and 4 girls) with hopes that we would have a better opportunity for an education in the U.S. In addition to a work-hard ethic, working together as a family to reach goals, and finishing what we started—were also instilled family values—they almost became family mottos. My mother had resolved to trust me when I reassured her that the Army had told me that I could take college courses while I was serving. I said to her: "besides, there's no way that I can ever become what I've always wanted to become (since age 11)—a therapist—without a college degree!"
I entered the military and it fit like a glove—we were a perfect match! No longer did I have to diffuse my patriotism, the lump in my throat, chills, and pride in my country each time the "Star Spangled Banner," or other patriotic song played. I would no longer be seen as out-of-place or "weird" by my peers for humbling myself to rules and authority. For I came in to the military with the already engrained values of respect, honor, duty, team work and mission accomplishment! What I had not been prepared for, was an amazing discovery—the camaraderie, brotherhood and sisterhood fellowship that the military life style welcomes you into—which never leaves you. I guess one could say that the "use the buddy system" literally reinforced (drilled-in) during boot camp training, becomes a solid inexplicable bond of language that only those that have served (whether in time of peace or war); as active duty personnel or veteran's, can recognize and speak fluently! I still experience warm fuzzies in remembrance of those like-minded friendships-whenever I drive by a military installation.
While in the military I received orders for numerous assignments. Sometimes I was assigned more than one assignment at a time—for when one is government property 24/7 one quickly learns a new military occupation! I had been blessed with a thirst for knowledge and growth and the resilience of being multi-task oriented; so I was excited with each new assignment. I served as a Commander's Administrative Assistant, Chaplain's Assistant, and as a Broadcaster with The American Forces Network (AFN). What do those assignments have to do with being a Vietnam veteran? It has to do with servant hood. Selfless servant hood means that you serve others, outside of yourself, whomever and wherever you are needed in support of the mission; our mission, the Vietnam war. Most of my tour of duty was spent overseas—not directly in Vietnam—as support personnel. I remember learning in high school from Halford E. Luccock that: "no one can whistle a symphony-it takes an orchestra to play it." So-I was quite comfortable and ambitious about working diligently to help our troops and their family's morale remain stable and strong in fortitude-throughout the war.
I received my discharge from the U.S. Army along with my Good Conduct and National Defense Service medals, when the war was over. Did I receive a Purple Heart medal of honor? No. I'm not one of my fellow comrades that received orders to the front-line, I'm the one that never got to say good-bye or ever see those friends again. I'm the one that along with taking evening college courses, spent weekends and my off-duty time at my Fort's military hospital—as a Red Cross volunteer helping with the patient overload (which was a result of the Vietnam war). I'm one of those wounded soldiers without the heroic story and the visible scars or disability that earns the Purple Heart Medal of Honor. My heart's color is called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and the medal of honor that it brings, is knowing that in spite of earning this profound rite of passage (PTSD), I would resolve to serve all over again—for the sake of the freedom of our country and that of other nations!
PTSD takes on many forms, depending on the individual; for some-they have anxiety/panic attacks or they never recover and go into states of psychosis. For me, it only takes music from the Vietnam-era, to immediately transport me back into uniform; back into times of enormous levels of stress, endurance, loss, grief and mission failures. Nevertheless, just like I was raised with my father's motto:"Reina, always a step ahead-face forward-never step backwards!" The military also trained me that way. We learn from failure, going backwards and giving up is not an option—we must persevere! After all, succumbing to PTSD, can risk one's life and that of others. In dealing with and managing PTSD I have resolved not to allow it to sew seeds of failure in my career path or those of my future generations! I am a first generation college graduate in my family of origin. As a licensed marriage and family therapist I have been in practice as a clinician, and have taught college. Currently I am on sabbatical without pay writing a book on "Family Violence"—an area which I began my training in—while I was in the military. This book will be my next contribution to society. Does this mean that there's a secret to career success, and that my PTSD has vanished? No, it means that part of my upbringing and military training has become a way of life for my life style. It means that even as a therapist I still conduct mental well-being self-assessments on myself!
As much as some of the public would like to deny or fluff-up PTSD, I know the reality is, that there's a wounded soldier inside of me. For those that believe in General Colin Powell's statement; then, reality therapy is the treatment of choice for PTSD! It is real that I did suffer psychological stress. In order to maintain the high levels of excellence and success in performance which I require of myself (as did the military) I have to examine my cognitive thought processes and how I respond or react to events (music) that are a reminder of that time in service. The other reality is that I (like other veterans) were consistently exposed to information and situations that were beyond average-every-day human experiences. Therefore, it's normal for the human mind to periodically digress and recall imagery upon meeting a new person or circumstance that hints at a reminder. It's our mind's way of naturally and normally re-integrating between past memory and the present. Awareness of these realities, eating nutritionally, taking vitamins, exercising (I still run my 5 miles as in boot camp), keeping a daily walk with God; are the keys to maintaining my mental, physical, and spiritual health at peak levels!
My daughter Gabrielle wishes very much to become a second generation college graduate in our family. I believe my family of origin and the military, have helped me to role-model for her, how to make that wish happen! Gabrielle has already begun on the path to success that General Colin Powell spoke about. Her goal is to work towards a Bachelors degree with a double major in Cinema-Television and Theatre Arts. She is currently managing being an advanced student academically, leading school clubs, attending theatre, technician, dance and chorus rehearsals, organization, volunteer, church and family commitments; with high levels of excellence.
As Gabrielle's mother, I am writing this essay because we have had some campus visits, and we have been told by these Universities that the tuition for a degree in the Performing Arts is much more expensive than for a standard degree. Her academic major in college is an expensive one—but not higher than the price that she is willing to pay for the vision and mission that she plans to fulfill—upon receiving her degree! Gabrielle's vision and mission is to develop and produce television programs and motion pictures that are morally wholesome. She (like many families) is concerned with the disintegration of family values, corruption in our society and the lack of moral character. She hopes that throughout her work in filmography she will make an impact on society.
I am supportive of Gabrielle's career goal. Earning this college scholarship would further encourage her to go forth—such as a leading soldier does—in spite of opposition from the world or those that follow. Perseverance is a value that Gabrielle has been raised with. She is preparing to do the work! Through God, her family values, and her military background—Gabrielle has received much. Gabrielle realizes that what I have often reminded her of is true—the Bible says: "to whom much is given, from him much will be required."
