Category Archives: Spouse and Family

Claire writes about the life of a military spouse and highlights military family life in our times.

Military Spouse Hiring Fair at Ft. Hood

This event takes place March 28th, but the deadline to register is March 20th. This is not just for spouses, but for Veterans as well. Let us know if you are planning on going! I would love to hear about it!

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The U.S. Chamber of Commerce’s Hiring Our Heroes Military Spouse Hiring Fair scheduled for March 28, 2012 at Club Hood is committed to making this one-of–a-kind FREE hiring fair a win-win for employers and veteran/military spouse job seekers.

This hiring event, sponsored by Capital One and the Fort Hood Officers’ Spouse Club, is being conducted by the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, Killeen Chamber of Commerce, Fort Hood, Texas, Fort Hood Enlisted Spouses Club, U.S. Army Morale, 3rd Corps, Welfare and Recreation, Club Hood, Fort Hood ACAP Center, the U.S. Department of Labor Veterans’ Employment and Training Services (DOL VETS), Employer Support of the Guard and Reserve (ESGR), and the United States Army Reserve.

March 28, 2012 
7:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.
Club Hood - Bldg. 5764
24th St. & Wainwright Dr
Ft. Hood, TX  76544

Registration

  • Job seekers, click here.
  • Employers, click here.
  • Registration for employers and job seekers closes March 20, 2012
  • Click here to view the event flyer.

For more information, please contact Hiring Our Heroes at hiringourheroes@uschamber.com

Would You Want a Surprise Homecoming?

There are thousands of videos on Youtube. There are two major television shows. There are even websites devoted to showcasing the best moments. And all of these things are devoted to one emotional event: a surprise homecoming. While planned homecomings are heartwarming enough on their own, surprise homecomings pack that little extra punch: the surprise and joy on the person’s face, the tears, the reunion. They’re great to watch, but would you want your own surprise homecoming?

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VA Offers Marriage Retreats for Returning Vets

The VA currently has marriage retreat programs for all Veterans up and running at two locations: the VA San Diego Healthcare System and the Charlie Norwood VA Medical Center in Augusta, GA. These retreats are conducted by VA chaplains, social workers, psychologists, and counselors who have been certified as instructors for teaching better communication skills, relationship skills, and emotional literacy skills to couples. When VA’s marriage retreats first began, only Veterans from the Iraq and Afghanistan conflicts were being accepted into the program. Since then, VA has opened the program to anyone who’s ever worn the uniform.  For more information on VA’s marriage retreat program, call 706-733-0188, ext. 6118, 6114, or 6172.  To read more about these retreats, please go to: http://1.usa.gov/zCGXpi

The Ups and Downs of Deployment With Kids

This is my husband’s fourth deployment, our third together, and our first with a child. Before we had kids, I always was a little bit jealous of wives who had them. Deployment was so much easier for them, I thought. Mainly it was because kids kept you busier. You didn’t have time to wallow in your misery. You always had people there to give you love, attention, and affection (as opposed to sitting on your couch crying, wishing your husband was home). The time just seemed to go by faster for them, and it seemed easier.

Now that I’m in the midst of a deployment with a child, I think that for the most part, I was right. It is easier. But it also goes so much deeper than that.

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Who’s to Blame When a Spouse Leaks Information?

As Claire discussed a few days ago, the news broke recently that an Army wife was notified via text message by another spouse that her husband had been killed. There was an instant uproar about this incident. Everyone seemed to be in agreement that this was an absolutely awful, terrible thing to happen. How could a spouse be so thoughtless and cruel as to text another wife that her husband had died? People were immediately looking for someone to blame. Only, who is the one at fault here?

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Military Spouse Notified of Death Via Text Message (Facebook)

There is a good discussion going on at SpouseBzz right now about notification and who is to blame for the very horrible and grievous situation of a spouse being notified of her husband’s death via text message/facebook.

When a person receives information like the death of a spouse it is very important that he/she be notified officially for many reasons — one just being the plain decency and respect that a personal, face to face notification offers. The second being the immediate shock the person faces and making sure he/she is secure or has someone who can come and be with the family. I don’t always understand military protocol, but this one seems to be a pretty, painfully, obvious one.

I am a boundary loving person. One boundary I draw in my own life is an understanding of the difference between blame and responsibility. We can point the finger of blame at social media and living in a world where anything can be said at nearly the speed of light, but the responsibility of what is actually put out there lays on the shoulders of the human being behind the keyboard. Regardless of intent. Intent does not erase responsibility.

I have never even been close to facing the pain and grief this young military widow is facing, but I also faced a breach of notification when DBS was hurt in training. It was about the time he was in recovery from surgery, and I had not been notified yet (he was at Ft. Benning and I was in TN).  I got an email from a fellow OCS Candidate’s fiance. She went on about how sorry she was for what happened and she heard his surgery went well, etc. etc.

I remember literally shutting the computer down and walking away. I was in shock. I could barely remember what she said in the email and I was numb … about 10 minutes later I rebooted my computer and with trembling hands I re-opened the email and called her immediately asking her (forgive my language) “What in the living hell are you talking about woman!”

She was embarrassed and apologized. I was livid and in shock. Blessedly his surgery did go well and we got through it all. If notification like that was such a shock about an injury in training I can not even imagine getting a notification of death.

What’s your opinion on the matter? How can this be prevented in the future? Do you think it will happen more, the more we become connected?

Introducing Myself

Hey everyone! My name is Cassy, and I’m very excited to be joining the crew here at YouServed! I’ll jump right into a little background for you.

I’m a Marine wife, currently living with my husband here in North Carolina. Matt and I met in middle school, and after, oh, fifteen years or so, finally got married just as we were coming up on his third deployment. Continue reading

I wish I could see Act of Valor, but… I’m a Blue Star Mom (and admittedly a wimp)

Act of Valor is being released this Friday. It is being haled as a military masterpiece, and rightfully so. It sounds like a wonderful movie filled with real American Heroes. I won’t be going to see it with my guys . I did do a super cool thing though and set up a ‘dudes’ day out’ for the guys. A steak, a beer and a good movie they can’t wait to see? They know who loves them!

My not attending is not a statement or a protest at all. It is just the simple fact that I can not watch modern warfare movies as a Blue Star parent. It’s too hard. It’s too close to home. I am too empathetic and the movies are too realistic. I know there are many other Blue Star parents who feel the same, and many others who are able to sort it out enough to go and enjoy the movie. I think it all depends on where you are emotionally. I am writing this for the other moms and dads who can not see it out of the fear of falling apart in the theater. Continue reading

Valentine’s Day Sentiments

My Valentine is home, but I have many friends and loved ones whose Valentines are overseas or out in the field today. I wanted to post a few sentiments I found doing a search. If your sweetheart is at home with you today or if he or she is thousands of miles away, I hope that you both get to find a way to remind the other how much you love one another. Yes, we should do it daily, but isn’t it nice that we have an excuse to lavish each other with a little extra love on a given day?

Here are a few I found from various sources (Links to the sources are the end). Do you have a special poem you have written? If so, please share it in the comment section.

Red roses, chocolate, and champagne,
Are not enough for me,
My Lord, I need protection
For my Valentine at sea.

My Valentine is far away
Serving in Iraq,
No flowers, chocolate, candy hearts,
Please Lord, just bring him back.

I share my love with all the world,
She’s stationed in Iraq,
Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers,
Ask God to bring her back.

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March 2012 Spouse Summit (Arlington, VA)

Are any of you planning on attending? I am a day away from where it’s being held. I really need to find an excuse to be there! It looks like a wonderful event and they are still open for registration. Let me know if you go! I would love interview anyone who does attend!

Join us March 2-3 for the 2012 Spouse Summit in Arlington, VA!

Military.com’s Spouse Summit is a first-of-its kind event aimed at informing and empowering military spouses. The Summit brings together Subject Matter Experts to address the most pressing issues facing military families today. Whether it’s learning how to overcome obstacles that stand in the way of career or education goals, or how the state of the economy could affect military pay and benefits, the 2012 Spouse Summit will cover the substantive issues which are crucial to maintaining the mental, physical and financial health of our military families.

Brought to you by the team responsible for the highly successful MilBlog Conference and SpouseBUZZ LIVE events, the Military Spouse Summit promises to be a must-attend event for military spouses.

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

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