Neurotic Indulgences on the Home Front
I’m a stickler for flag protocol, and the flag in the story below is truely tattered. This is one case, however, where I feel that mercy and compassion trumps protocol. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe there’s no way to say exactly who is right in this matter, but I know how it feels to have your flesh and blood in a war zone. Sometimes we feel a little helpless here on the home front. We can do nothing to directly aid our loved one who is fighting and working so hard. We send prayers and packages. We wait by the phone to hear their voice and to give them uplifting news from home and the reminder that they are thought about and missed very much.
Sometimes we have, what I call, neurotic indulgences.
When my son left for Iraq the last time we were gearing up here at home for PCS. We were looking at 3-4 possible moves before we settled into our destination for a slightly longer stay. Packing went very well for me for the first move, but when I got to the family pictures I simply could not put Mike’s picture in the box. I just couldn’t. I did not realize up until that moment how much that picture meant to me. The thought of packing it caused me to weep. I also confess that while I visited my husband at Ft. Benning I snagged one of his t-shirts that was gently worn (basically smelled like him and the Infantry — but not the sweaty field!) I slept with that t-shirt on his pillow every night. It made me smile and helped me sleep.
I am not a superstitious woman, but I am human. If a picture, or a t-shirt, or a flag is what is holding a family member together during a time of deployment… for the love of mercy, let the family member have it. It’s the only sense of normalcy or control that we have sometimes. The story below struck me because I have a friend who is a Marine wife (he’s retired now). She also had an American Flag up during his deployment and told me that she felt that if she were to take it down something bad would happen to him. She knew better, but at the moment seeing the Flag flying gave her tangible reassurance that her Marine was fine.
Crazy? Maybe. If you have never been in those shoes though, I would withhold judgment.
Neighbors frown over military family’s tattered American flag
Sat, Aug. 01, 2009 06:05PM
EXCERPT
Faded nearly white and torn to shreds, the American flag flying in front of the home of Louis and Jessie Haros has drawn strange looks, and anger, from passers-by in recent weeks.
People have knocked on their door and done everything short of demand that the couple replace the tattered banner. One man even left a brand-new flag on the porch.
Louis Haros knows that sun, wind and rain have taken their toll on the once-new flag. But the last thing he means is to show disrespect. He said that his love for his son, Paul Haros, and for his country, have kept it flying long after the first rips appeared.
This week Paul Haros, a corporal in the California National Guard, is scheduled to return from Iraq. He served with the 82nd Airborne Division in Operation Desert Storm, and has served three tours in Iraq as a member of the Army National Guard.
Paul Haros, 39, hung the flag in front of his parents’ home on Belmont Avenue 11 months ago.
“Before he left, he brought the flag over and put it up,” Louis Haros said. “I told him I wouldn’t take it down until he came back. I didn’t realize it would get so bad so quickly, but I’m still leaving it up until he comes home.” READ ENTIRE ARTICLE
