This past week there was a murder-homicide that occurred inside the PX at Ft. Lewis. My son and his wife are stationed there, and I have two friends who are stationed there as well. Fortunately no one I know personally was involved or in the PX when it happened. All we know at this point is a retired soldier, aged 59, walked into the PX and opened fire on a civilian, female, employee. He killed her and then turned the gun on himself. He died later that day at the hospital. The PX was full of shoppers when this happened. The murder suicide was witnessed by women and children.
The story is horrible. It’s tragic. I am actually pleased to see that the main stream media has not made more of it than it was. I wish I could say the same thing about the gossip and the rumor pushers both inside the installation and out. Within minutes the rumor mill started and lips were flapping. The first speculation was the man was a young Iraqi veteran who killed his cheating wife. That shifted to the man being a Vietnam Veteran who killed a random woman. The story grew in insanity. I had to wait until I saw some consistent local reporting before I felt like I knew what really happened.
Are our lives so starved for drama we feel the need to take an already horrific crime scene and add to it? Why in the world do we insert ourselves into these kinds of things by gossiping and spreading stories?
The story gets worse. Not the story about the retired soldier and the woman he murdered — that couldn’t get any worse. The story of gossip and careless words gets worse. I peeked at the comments being made on the online newspaper by civilians in that area about our military. Apparently military bases have a fair share of gossips and story spreaders, but our civilian neighborhoods are not lacking either. Everyone was an expert on what happened, how the man’s “veteran status” (not confirmed at that point if he was a vet or not) affected him, and why we should disarm all veterans. Of course no one addressed the fact that civilians committing murders FAR out numbers those committed by military members.
Ideas, stories and words have consequences. We are far too careless as a culture — I will admit I have been careless before, myself. It’s a mistake I am trying hard to never fall into again. We all feel entitled to our opinion. Anytime we feel entitled to something we divorce the reality of consequences and responsibility that goes with the thing we feel entitled to. Speech is a right. Responsibility is innate with every right we exercise.
One of my favorite bands right now is Blue October. Ever since I first heard “Hate Me” on the radio, I’ve been hooked. I have all their albums, the DVD, and even the special edition of their latest release that I pre-ordered along with a shirt and collector’s book. The band just kicks ass and their music is very emotional driven. He talks a lot about failed relationships and his past experiences getting through drug addiction.
They are also one of the few bands that Emily and I both equally love. We dance to their music together and can’t get enough. We love teasing our kids with it by playing it over and over again. We’ve seen them live in concert three times each – twice together and once apart at different shows.
On their latest album, “Approaching Normal”, the band included a song called “Kangaroo Cry” which is dedicated to the troops. Lead singer/songwriter Justin Furstenfeld says this about the song:
“I felt I had to write a song for every Soldier we see at the airport holding their families. I make a point to tell them ‘thank you’. It’s heart-breaking. The strength they have.”
This video was recorded at Kapaun Air Station, Germany. The lyrics are posted under the video. I hope you like it as much as I do (not withstanding the quality).
Losing my control
Here it is the day I have to go
Just sit beside me
I can’t let this show
How sick I feel to leave you so alone
God I’m terrified
We’ve lost respect for decency
When one can turn our world into an ant pile
We run circles, no direction do I see
The dust has blinded you, the dust has blinded me
I kissed her on the cheek
And then I waved goodbye
She had the saddest look I’ve seen in years
A kangaroo cry
A warm pathetic ocean flow we have to live by
We have to live by
Because we have to live
Chorus
And you choose to break our families
Tell me you’ve used all precautions known
And I’ll stand beside the ones who stood alone
How long will we have to sing until you finally bring our sons, our daughters home?
We’ll let the prayers start healing, what time’s been stealing
We only want to feel as close as we can be
Use hands for holding on to your precious family
Just believe in all who shine
The light to help you see
Cause if I believe in you, will you believe in me?
I kissed her on the cheek
And then I waved goodbye
She had the saddest look I’ve seen in years
A kangaroo cry
A warm pathetic ocean flow we have to live by
We have to live by
Because we have to live
Chorus
And you choose to break our families
Tell me you’ve used all precautions known
And I’ll stand beside the ones who stood alone
How long will we have to sing until you finally bring our sons, our daughters home?
We’ll let the prayers start healing, what time’s been stealing
Keep hanging on
Keep hanging on
Keep hanging on
Keep hanging on
We’ll let the prayers start healing, when time’s been stealing
Before this all gets started I want to first thank the people at VA Mortgage center for giving me the opportunity to express myself in this forum. Mil-Blogging is not something that I’m normally associated with and the chance to express my opinions on some of these matters is a refreshing one. But before we get to my contributions – some serious and some bordering on the ridiculous and sophomoric – I thought it important to acquaint you, the Mil-blogging community with who I am and what my credentials are.
Yes, I am in the military – if you count being a part of the Air National Guard “military”. Most of the Mil-Bloggers I’ve met are battle hardened Marines and Soldiers and using the Air National Guard moniker in those ranks is like screaming, “I’m a tough guy too,” at a mixed martial arts tournament because at, almost thirty years old, no one has threatened to beat you up and take your lunch money in at least two weeks. What can I say; some of the geeks I work with in the civilian sector are mean S.O.Bs.
I’ve been writing online since long before the term “blog” was en-vogue and after I joined the military I was expressly forbidden from ever mentioning my “affiliation” with any government agency on my now infamous and defunct website. A rule that I firmly stuck to until I was exposed, in a very grandiose fashion, thanks to some reporters in Northern California. At the time of the story I was the enlisted aide to the Adjutant General of the California National Guard and I ran a comedy website – a website based around sophomoric humor and wiener-laden off color social commentary – called HowToKillPeople.com. After the story hit the mainstream media I was made a public pariah at the expense of my blossoming career. The name of my site – in and of itself, without viewing of the content – was used as a rallying cry around which sycophants and the socially inept could clamor in order to express their distaste.
pictured: the face of public outcry or just a guy who likes Transformers too much?
Blogging, as a military member, is a fundamental part of the new media experiment that the world is currently ensconced in. Never before has the Private on the front line had the same ability as the embedded reporter to bring to the masses the true stories of the ugliness and beauty of war. Some of you may be turned off by equating the words “beauty” and “war” in the same phrase but the fact of the matter is that even in the midst of a bloody war, beauty can exist. The mainstream media often salivates over the numbers of people killed and the number of road side bombs that have been detonated on any given day. The Private working patrols outside the wire is the one who will bring you stories of children playing soccer in an arena that was once used by an oppressive regime for troop amassment. As such mil-blogging is an invaluable tool to connect the American public to the events that are happening half a world away. It’s one of the truest expressions of the first amendment, an amendment most in uniform will unhappily tell you does not apply to them because though they have volunteered to die in defense of the constitution they are not protected by its governance.
Recent events have forced the government to deal with the reality of blogging and its repercussions not only here on American soil but also abroad. Mil-blogging represents the truest form of military reporting; an uncensored, unwashed, direct to the public, view of life in service to our nation. Though they’re very rarely given the credit they deserve people like Troy, CJ and Marcus not only bring you untold tales of heroes who would normally be forgotten, they also risk the animosity and rancor of not only their superiors but the public at large as well.
I’ll be out of the military in a little over three months, having served six years, but I’ll always consider myself fortunate to be counted among the few who have donned the uniform and the even fewer who have spoken their mind during that tenure. Thank you for allowing me this opportunity to bring you my take on military events, though some of my opinions are patently ludicrous. But thank you even more for giving these men the ability to bring you their stories. For history is no longer being written by a chosen few. And by visiting the mil-blogging community you are being given a front row seat to the stories that will populate the text books of your children and grand children. It’s an honor and hopefully I can rise to the occasion.
July 23, 2009 By You Served Editorial Staff
Posted in Uncategorized
It’s time for some levity.
On Loan at You Served is proud to welcome guest blogger Travis Gruber for the next two weeks as he “finds the funny” in today’s military.
Author of the “Whiskey for Breakfast” blog, where Gruber opines and satirizes on pop culture and celebrity, Gruber, a member of the California National Guard, said readers will get a feel of “grown-up humor” with his takes on the military and politics.
Gruber said that it’s important during the tough times the country is facing to bring a little humor to the fore front, and with the government, there’s plenty to choose from material-wise.
“Anytime the government does something, there’s a comedy to it,” Gruber said.
Gruber said those that have read his blog and perhaps his former blog, “HowtoKillPeople.com”, will notice that Gruber takes from his long lineage of military service, including his parents and grandparents, who all served in the military. Gruber said he’s looking forward to the opportunity to blog on You Served after the flap with his former blog, which got him into trouble more for the name of the blog than anything.
“My military time I wasn’t allowed to speak about,” Gruber said, which should make for an interesting and humorous next couple of weeks.
Blue star parents have always had a special role in the support and well being of their soldier. The exact role you play in his life and deployment depends greatly on the relationship you have with him and on your family dynamics. Each family handles support and stress a little differently.
Your role will also change once (or if) your soldier is married. Soldiers need someone who is able to take care of business for them on the home front while they are deployed or in training. A spouse takes care of that for the married soldier, but when a soldier is single he will often rely on his family to help with those matters. You may wind up carrying a POA to enable you to act on his behalf if need be while he is unable to.
The level of your involvement while your soldier is deployed will also be determined greatly by the Family Readiness Group (FRG). Your soldier can put your down as his primary contact person and the FRG contact as well. Some FRGs are very parent friendly, and others are not. This is where being a Blue Star parent can become frustrating.
We often taken care of things for our single soldier on the same level of a spouse. We are the ones who have to go over the details of deployment (even down to the details of what he wants to wear should he die while deployed) and will be the primary support and morale builder. It really helps to reach out to other blue star parents so that you have an empathetic shoulder to lean and cry on when times get tough. Unfortunately a lot of people who have no personal connection to the military simply can not understand the emotions that go with it. I know I had to experience it to believe the amount of worry and stress that goes along with deployment to a war zone.
Support gives you the feedback you need. It is always a relief to hear another parent tell you that they understand and felt the same way. Suddenly you are no longer in this thing alone. There are many blue star parents around, it’s just a matter of finding them.
Below are some links to resources for blue star families.
Blue Star Mothers of America, Inc. : Our organization not only provides support for active duty service personnel, promotes patriotism, assists Veterans organizations, and are available to assist in homeland volunteer efforts to help our country remain strong.
GoArmyParents.com : An online community of miliary friends and family. It was started by an Army mom, but it is open to all branches.
ParentsZone.org: Parents Zone is a support site and blog for parents and other family members of serving military members(active, reserve, guard, veterans).
MilitaryFamiliesUnited.org : Military Families United serves as the nation’s premier military family advocacy organization, representing the Gold and Blue Star families throughout the country and their loved ones who wear, or have worn, our nation’s uniform.
UPDATE2: Pfc. Bowe R. Bergdahl, 23, of Ketchum, Idaho, was declared Duty Status Whereabouts Unknown (DUSTWUN) on July 1 and his status was changed to “Missing-Captured” on July 3. Pfc. Bergdahl is a member of 1st Battalion, 501st Parachute Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Fort Richardson, Alaska.
UPDATE: The Soldier in the video is NOT a senior NCO or officer as I had opined. He is a Private First Class, E-3. So, now the question is how he got off the base.
Greyhawk has been doing a great job covering the story of the Soldier who was kidnapped in Afghanistan. I’d like to take a moment to quickly convey to readers what he may be going through and how you should interpret any news coming out of his capture. The first thing you should know is that regardless of HOW or WHY he left the base, the military is 100% dedicated to getting him back alive. We never leave a brother behind if there is ever hope. Part of our creed reads, “I will never leave a fallen comrade.” This includes captured troops.
There are different rules that kidnapped troops must live under depending upon the circumstances of their capture. As we know, those rules change drastically when the captors are not a state entity. In other words, it’s one thing to be a prisoner of North Korea, or Iran, or any other nation. It’s an entirely different thing to be the prisoner of a terrorist organization. One must conduct themselves differently.
In any capture situation, the goal is simple to stay alive. Terrorists have no compassion for human life. They are soulless human being devoid of any sense of humanity or respect. When you become a liability, it is easier to kill you than continue to hold out and negotiate. There is no such thing as diplomacy with terrorist organization, regardless of what the current administration thinks.
The AP released a story today that purports to have information about the captured US Soldier somewhere in Afghanistan or Pakistan. The Soldier has been missing for more than two weeks. Initially, the US military stated that he merely walked off the base with three Afghan nationals. With all the Embedded Training Teams (ETT) in Afghanistan, it’s not beyond the realm of the norm that the Soldier would be allowed to leave post without other troops. While the military hasn’t released any information about the captured Soldier, I would guess that he is probably a Staff Sergeant or higher or a CPT or Major.
Anyway, back to the AP story. According to the story, the captured story makes the following statement:
“To my fellow Americans who have loved ones over here, who know what it’s like to miss them, you have the power to make our government bring them home,” he said. “Please, please bring us home so that we can be back where we belong and not over here, wasting our time and our lives and our precious life that we could be using back in our own country. Please bring us home. It is America and American people who have that power.”
It is this statement that I want to draw some attention to. Remember first of all that the goal is to stay alive before we judge the statement. The fact is that we don’t know much of anything about this troop’s case. There is all sorts of speculation that ranges from AWOL to conspiracy to kidnapping. Regardless of his original intent, I’m sure he regrets his decision.
I can’t/won’t go into a lot of details, but I’ve been through the SERE course and can tell you that unless you’ve been through the training AT LEAST the training. Even that, though, doesn’t mean a darn thing unless you’ve been a prisoner to a hostile force. ALL Soldiers are trained on what information to give if they are captured by a foreign government. Only select troops are trained on being captured by non-state forces.
Until the truth comes out, I urge everyone not to judge anything this Soldier says as anything other than coerced and/or under duress. There comes a point where you will verbally give away your first born child if it means extending your life by one more day in order to buy some time for those looking for you. Most troops will not be held accountable for the things they say or do in captivity. Naturally, those that faulted McCain for his words in captivity simply don’t understand this concept and will probably fault this guy in the future for everything he says. Liberals are like that. They’re all about…never mind. I can’t go there. Gotta watch my blood pressure.
To prove that we mean business, the US military is grabbing, um, itself and taking the offensive. In a *cough *wheeze *hack CBS story, Mandy Clark reveals that coalition forces are releasing leaflets that threaten those holding the US troop.
Until this Soldier is returned, we need to keep him in our prayers and hope for his safe return. Unfortunately, the group that is believed to be holding him is notorious for beheadings and and suicide bombings. They hate Americans and can be much worse than the Taliban and even Al Qaeda at times. The group is called the Haqqani networked, after their head honcho, Siraj Haqqani. Siraj has been the primary threat in Afghanistan since at least 2007. It’s easy to assume that that Taliban, as brutal and repressive as they were, were actually holding Siraj back. Since we kicked their collective asses, Haqqani has only sunk further in deviancy and violence. Siraj is part of a younger, more aggressive generation of Taliban senior leadership that is pushing aside the formerly respected elders. And he’s doing it through some of the most violent means the region has ever seen.
Finally, remember not to believe, as Greyhawk mentions in his piece, the first stories you hear. I wouldn’t even believe the subsequent stories. The mainstream media has proven over and over again that it’s incapable of fact finding unless it will make troops or a former president doing everything possible to keep Americans alive look bad. Again, ask God to keep his watchful eye upon them and send His blessings when needed.
This is the 5th question of a 6 part series I have been working. The original post, “Mom to mom, can we talk?” was inspired by a friend who had a lot of questions when her son just recently left for BCT. Writing the answers out has allowed me to gather my own thoughts as well as, hopefully, record some useful information for other military family members who may be searching for answers.
This question is often the most heartfelt one that any of us who are new to the military will ask. The moment we know our loved one is joining the military we instantly grapple with a new mixture of feelings — intense pride and intense fear. It took me a couple of years to fully identify with the co-mingling and inter-connectedness of these two feelings because I don’t think I had felt them together like that before.
The pride we feel is connected often with our understand of duty and our values as Americans. We love our Country, and we recognize the vital role the military has in maintaining our freedom as citizens and as a nation. We are grateful. The fear is from the obvious. Some of the fear is of the unknown. The hardest fear is what hear and see on the news.
If you are reading this entry for a definite answer, I can’t give you one. All I can do is tell you that if your soldier joined the military during a time of conflict like we have now in our Country, then you need to prepare your heart and mind for deployment. Don’t dwell on it and live in fear and dread, but wrap your mind around it now and accept that it more than likely will happen. Some soldiers never deploy, but there is never a guarantee. It all depends on your soldier’s MOS, unit, and the needs of the branch of service he/she serves in. If your soldier holds a job that is primarily a support position, never assume that he/she will not deploy. Support personnel are deployed all the time. They fill important roles in a war zone. It’s not just the Infantry or Cavalry heading over to the middle east.
I know how hard it is for a parent to wrap their head around a son or daughter going over to a war zone. I am right now wrapping my head around my son (Infantry) going back to Iraq soon, and my youngest has just joined the Army Reserves. I know they are both strong, capable and smart. My oldest is a very good soldier, and was recently promoted to Sgt. I am very proud of him. It still leaves me unsettled. I am convinced that it is just unnatural for a parent to sit calmly by why her (or his) grown child faces moral danger on a moment by moment basis. We are the providers and protectors. It’s unnatural for our children to fight battles we, ourselves, have not had to face. But, they do it all the time, and they will grow beyond us in some areas of life. It’s a unique challenge for the military parent to accept that.
When your soldier will deploy depends on what unit he winds up in after AIT and when their next deployement is set to occur. Sometimes deployment can occur right out of AIT if the unit your soldier is going to be part of is already deployed. There is no hard and fast rule about deployment. Both deployments (past and pending) my son’s date was moved ahead by months. The change in his first deployment came when the troop surge was announced. We had a heads up and knew that if the strategy was announced he would be mobilizing to deploy immediately.
Return dates and deployment lengths sometimes change depending on a whole host of reasons. The Army is trying to cut down on the length of deployments. I think right now they can run 6-12 months and sometimes as long as 15-18 months. Again, it depends on the mission, the MOS and other factors.
Be sure you get your soldier’s rear detachment contact information, and be sure your soldier lists you and your contact information with his unit’s FRG. Some FRGs send a lot of information and keep you well posted, and others do not. They are volunteer organizations, so there are no guarantees.
Perhaps a follow up post with a good checklist of what to do to prepare for deployment is in order. We can touch on the subject on how to prepare in more depth.
Be strong. Your soldier is, and he/she will do the best they can during deployment. We have a lot to be proud of as military parents. We have a lot to be fearful of as well. The best we can do is support one another, support our soldiers, and keep the home-front a safe and peaceful place for them to come home to.
1st Lt. Jonathan Brostrom was posthumously awarded the Silver Star for his gallantry in action on April 30, 2009.
On April 30, 2009, 1st Lt. Jonathan Brostrom was posthumously awarded the Silver Star for his actions in Wanat, Afghanistan.
1st Lt. Brostrom rushed to assist fellow soldiers at Combat Outpost Kahler, manned by US and Afghan Soldiers, while it was being attacked by more than 200 enemy fighters with machine guns, mortars and rocket-propelled grenades. Sighting injuries among his men, he quickly began to ferry medical supplies and ammunition across a 100-yard stretch between two positions when he was fatally shot. His efforts kept the enemy from overwhelming the outpost and allowed time for the arrival of additional reinforcements. 1st Lt. Brostrom’s actions, at the cost of his own life, saved the lives of his men.
For his gallantry in action, 1st Lt. Brostrom is this week’s Warrior-
Soldier.
