What is my role as a parent in supporting my soldier?
This concludes the 6 part original post “Mom to Mom, Can We Talk?“
Blue star parents have always had a special role in the support and well being of their soldier. The exact role you play in his life and deployment depends greatly on the relationship you have with him and on your family dynamics. Each family handles support and stress a little differently.
Your role will also change once (or if) your soldier is married. Soldiers need someone who is able to take care of business for them on the home front while they are deployed or in training. A spouse takes care of that for the married soldier, but when a soldier is single he will often rely on his family to help with those matters. You may wind up carrying a POA to enable you to act on his behalf if need be while he is unable to.
The level of your involvement while your soldier is deployed will also be determined greatly by the Family Readiness Group (FRG). Your soldier can put your down as his primary contact person and the FRG contact as well. Some FRGs are very parent friendly, and others are not. This is where being a Blue Star parent can become frustrating.
We often taken care of things for our single soldier on the same level of a spouse. We are the ones who have to go over the details of deployment (even down to the details of what he wants to wear should he die while deployed) and will be the primary support and morale builder. It really helps to reach out to other blue star parents so that you have an empathetic shoulder to lean and cry on when times get tough. Unfortunately a lot of people who have no personal connection to the military simply can not understand the emotions that go with it. I know I had to experience it to believe the amount of worry and stress that goes along with deployment to a war zone.
Support gives you the feedback you need. It is always a relief to hear another parent tell you that they understand and felt the same way. Suddenly you are no longer in this thing alone. There are many blue star parents around, it’s just a matter of finding them.
Below are some links to resources for blue star families.
Blue Star Mothers of America, Inc. : Our organization not only provides support for active duty service personnel, promotes patriotism, assists Veterans organizations, and are available to assist in homeland volunteer efforts to help our country remain strong.
GoArmyParents.com : An online community of miliary friends and family. It was started by an Army mom, but it is open to all branches.
ParentsZone.org: Parents Zone is a support site and blog for parents and other family members of serving military members(active, reserve, guard, veterans).
MilitaryFamiliesUnited.org : Military Families United serves as the nation’s premier military family advocacy organization, representing the Gold and Blue Star families throughout the country and their loved ones who wear, or have worn, our nation’s uniform.
