Urban Camo Makes my Milspouse Skin Crawl!
I spent the weekend at a winery with my girlfriends. The sun was shining, we had a table on the patio, and I was on my third glass of pinot gris when I came face to face with my biggest pet peeve as an army wife: urban camo. You know what I’m talking about… civilian clothes that come in “cute” camouflage patterns. Sometimes you’ll see them in pink or blue…. mostly in dog collars and infant clothes…. I can get over that. My dogs all wear military “dog tags” after all. But what I can’t seem to accept is full-on, olive green, why-would-you-wear-it-if-you’re-not-in-uniform camo. Women in their 20s and 30s are the biggest offenders. Usually it’s Capri pants with cargo pockets and little drawstrings at the ankles. Or too-tight, ribbed GI Jane-style tank tops. Civilian men are not immune to the camo craze – but they prefer “authentic” surplus-store-style duds…. the knee length shorts made out of an old pair of BDUs, and my absolute favorite: the digital camo backpack/ruck sack. I’m sure they are very useful on missions…. but in the frozen foods aisle at Safeway? Not so much.
“Urban Commando!” Paul shouts whenever we’re out and see someone in their camo gear.
“Where?” I ask. “I don’t see anyone.”
He nods knowingly.
“That’s because they’re camouflaged.”
It never ceases to be funny, even though in the small town where we live, there is usually an entire urban battalion down at the Dari-Mart on any given day.
Camo is not a very flattering look on most people, but when I see someone out in their olive green duds, I feel like calling the MPs more than the Fashion Police. Camouflage, to me, signals military. It’s what my husband wears to work. I’m just not sure how it became so popular in civilian attire. Could you imagine the uniform trend catching on? People would be out at bars on Friday nights in their medical scrubs…. Or maybe just the scrub pants, paired with a cute lace camisole or babydoll T? I don’t think so. Will Nordstrom soon carry navy polyester button-ups with faux police badges on the chest? Or evening-wear versions of the bright orange, mesh construction worker vest?
I blame the camo craze on the fascination civilians have with all things military. Witness: boot camp workouts, combat boots and Hummers. Trust me, as someone living the life – it ain’t all that magical.
In the interest of full disclosure: I do have a pair of camo patterned converse tennis shoes. But they were a gift. And really, they do go with everything.
Read more from Katie Dyer at Heroes At Home
