Sacrifice of Military personnel is Greater Than We Could Ever Know

May 16, 2009 By myheroesathome
Posted in Guest Blogger, Life in the Military, Patriotism, Spouse and Family

The phone woke me up, but I never minded losing sleep for the chance to talk to Paul. He was deep into what he referred to as “the mission” in Afghanistan and was rarely able to call. Usually it was just a quick ‘I love you. I miss you’ conversation. But this time he sounded flustered, restless. Then he said the words that made me sit straight up in bed. The words that we have never spoken about since that night, but will forever be the defining point of the deployment for me.

“Babe,” he said. “I’m afraid if you know the truth about what I’ve had to do here, you won’t love me anymore.”

There was silence on my end of the phone. Was I ready for the truth? Could I handle the truth?

“I will always love you,” I told him, knowing we both hoped desperately that it was true.

I still don’t know what happened in Afghanistan to force him to make that call. But that moment clearly defines two things I learned during the deployment. First, that those of us who have never been in combat cannot begin to fathom the sacrifices we are asking from our men and women in uniform. It’s not just the hardship of being away from their families that we put them through – missing birthdays, holidays and anniversaries; living in the desert without the comforts of home; feeling lonely, isolated. We also ask them to kill when necessary, and carry the burden of that moment with them for the rest of their lives; the questions and doubts that surround that one instant when they were forced to make a very difficult decision. Then we ask them to return to their lives at home and act as if they are the same man or woman who they were before they left. A sometimes impossible task.

Second, that moment reminds me that even though Paul and I may someday talk about what happened in Afghanistan, the version of it that I will come to know will be a much-sanitized, easier to live with ‘truth’ than the one he experienced. I will never see the faces of the enemy shooting at me; never smell the sweat and fear and death that clouds the battlefield; never have to live with the fact that it was my finger on the trigger. Why? Because he did it for me. Because our military personnel volunteered for those missions so that most of us will never have to carry the guilt and stress and heartache of a combat tour. And because they continue to volunteer, we will always be given the option not to volunteer.

So today, on Armed Forces Day, Thank You to all of you that wear, or have worn, the uniform. Your sacrifice is truly staggering.

Read more from Katie Dyer at Heroes At Home

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