Comments on: Strengths and military marriages http://www.vamortgagecenter.com/blog/2009/01/09/strengths-and-military-marriages/ Updated information on Veteran Benefits, featured Military Bloggers, the You Served Podcast and various other news and information relevant to Veterans. Sat, 13 Mar 2010 22:10:10 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: KojoC http://www.vamortgagecenter.com/blog/2009/01/09/strengths-and-military-marriages/comment-page-1/#comment-185846 KojoC Mon, 19 Jan 2009 06:58:53 +0000 http://www.vamortgagecenter.com/blog/?p=966#comment-185846 The first time I visit the White House and State Capital, we had only to observed the restricted area that was roped off by a red-rope, that was in 1950. A few months later I was off to the Korean war. I couldn't even imagine a Black man being elected as president... We were dealing with COLOR ONLY signs in the D.C. area. So remember, the freedom we enjoy today, wasn't FREE. many fought & died for it. http://www.ireport.com/people/Kojoman?numResults=10&view=documents The first time I visit the White House and State Capital, we had only to observed the restricted area that was roped off by a red-rope, that was in 1950. A few months later I was off to the Korean war. I couldn’t even imagine a Black man being elected as president… We were dealing with COLOR ONLY signs in the D.C. area.

So remember, the freedom we enjoy today, wasn’t FREE. many fought & died for it.
http://www.ireport.com/people/Kojoman?numResults=10&view=documents

]]> By: Claire http://www.vamortgagecenter.com/blog/2009/01/09/strengths-and-military-marriages/comment-page-1/#comment-183192 Claire Sun, 11 Jan 2009 14:58:03 +0000 http://www.vamortgagecenter.com/blog/?p=966#comment-183192 ASW: No it's note easy at all! I have never met a couple who have been through it that has said it is, even when they have a very strong marriage. I think, though, that in the long run, the families who do adapt and grow through the struggles will wind up with resources within themselves and within their family that will give them a resiliency that other families could benefit from. Could you imagine if a resource were written that highlighted the strongest military marriages? I don't mean the marriages that have never struggled -- because that's a bigger fantasy than a unicorn. I think that military families have a lot to offer both to one another and to those outside the military community in the lines of adaptation, acceptance, and perseverance. ASW: No it’s note easy at all! I have never met a couple who have been through it that has said it is, even when they have a very strong marriage. I think, though, that in the long run, the families who do adapt and grow through the struggles will wind up with resources within themselves and within their family that will give them a resiliency that other families could benefit from. Could you imagine if a resource were written that highlighted the strongest military marriages? I don’t mean the marriages that have never struggled — because that’s a bigger fantasy than a unicorn. I think that military families have a lot to offer both to one another and to those outside the military community in the lines of adaptation, acceptance, and perseverance.

]]> By: A Soldier's Wife http://www.vamortgagecenter.com/blog/2009/01/09/strengths-and-military-marriages/comment-page-1/#comment-182849 A Soldier's Wife Sun, 11 Jan 2009 02:29:20 +0000 http://www.vamortgagecenter.com/blog/?p=966#comment-182849 Interesting article...but military marriage is not easy and no two are the same....and reintegration does not take place in two weeks, not in two months and sometimes it can take years....when you spend 4 of 6 apart....how do you reintegrate with someone you have known your whole adult life, yet when you are finally at a point where you can relax with no impending deployment you realize the war changed you so much that you have to find your way back to one another while still being parents, lovers and friends? I am no unique case....unfortunately but those of us who face this, do not speak of it openly...to do so would to show that the Army Family Covenant was just a bit too late to help us....we now have to work towards solutions on our own....and the slow process will give us back what years of war took away. Interesting article…but military marriage is not easy and no two are the same….and reintegration does not take place in two weeks, not in two months and sometimes it can take years….when you spend 4 of 6 apart….how do you reintegrate with someone you have known your whole adult life, yet when you are finally at a point where you can relax with no impending deployment you realize the war changed you so much that you have to find your way back to one another while still being parents, lovers and friends? I am no unique case….unfortunately but those of us who face this, do not speak of it openly…to do so would to show that the Army Family Covenant was just a bit too late to help us….we now have to work towards solutions on our own….and the slow process will give us back what years of war took away.

]]> By: Claire http://www.vamortgagecenter.com/blog/2009/01/09/strengths-and-military-marriages/comment-page-1/#comment-182499 Claire Sat, 10 Jan 2009 14:04:07 +0000 http://www.vamortgagecenter.com/blog/?p=966#comment-182499 Oh, the time away really can be a time of renewal. Usually that time of reintegration is a 2-week honeymoon. It's the other time off and him being home a lot right after being gone the entire time that takes time to get used to. My husband and I get along extremely well, but it was a huge challenge for us. However, we managed it. I agree with you. I am amazed at any couple who can be together 24/7/365 and live to tell about it! ;) Oh, the time away really can be a time of renewal. Usually that time of reintegration is a 2-week honeymoon. It’s the other time off and him being home a lot right after being gone the entire time that takes time to get used to. My husband and I get along extremely well, but it was a huge challenge for us. However, we managed it.

I agree with you. I am amazed at any couple who can be together 24/7/365 and live to tell about it! ;)

]]> By: Smorgasbord http://www.vamortgagecenter.com/blog/2009/01/09/strengths-and-military-marriages/comment-page-1/#comment-182388 Smorgasbord Sat, 10 Jan 2009 08:24:39 +0000 http://www.vamortgagecenter.com/blog/?p=966#comment-182388 In contrast to a military marriage, where the two can be separated for long periods of time, I am a retired truck driver. When I was married my wife never went with me. I have heard of good friends starting to drive as a team. That means two drivers in a truck who take turns driving. Shortly after they start driving, they are at each others' throats. You can be apart from your mate for too long, but you can also be with them for too long to. It's like one person said about couples driving together, "If you have an argument, you can't take a walk to cool off." I give a lot of credit to the couples who literally are together 24 hours a day and still act like they are newlyweds. If you think it would be easy, just try it for one 24 hour period. In contrast to a military marriage, where the two can be separated for long periods of time, I am a retired truck driver. When I was married my wife never went with me. I have heard of good friends starting to drive as a team. That means two drivers in a truck who take turns driving. Shortly after they start driving, they are at each others’ throats.

You can be apart from your mate for too long, but you can also be with them for too long to. It’s like one person said about couples driving together, “If you have an argument, you can’t take a walk to cool off.” I give a lot of credit to the couples who literally are together 24 hours a day and still act like they are newlyweds. If you think it would be easy, just try it for one 24 hour period.

]]> By: Claire http://www.vamortgagecenter.com/blog/2009/01/09/strengths-and-military-marriages/comment-page-1/#comment-182069 Claire Fri, 09 Jan 2009 15:27:54 +0000 http://www.vamortgagecenter.com/blog/?p=966#comment-182069 I definitely would like to write more on the topic. Next time I am hoping to cover reintegration concerns and in particular the issues around the shifts in roles. Sorry for the abrupt ending. It was like my brain hit a brick wall and that was all it would let me write! ;) I definitely would like to write more on the topic. Next time I am hoping to cover reintegration concerns and in particular the issues around the shifts in roles.

Sorry for the abrupt ending. It was like my brain hit a brick wall and that was all it would let me write! ;)

]]> By: DBS http://www.vamortgagecenter.com/blog/2009/01/09/strengths-and-military-marriages/comment-page-1/#comment-182003 DBS Fri, 09 Jan 2009 13:23:47 +0000 http://www.vamortgagecenter.com/blog/?p=966#comment-182003 Good article but ... it seems to be cut short. Just as I was getting into it - it ended. Is there another part yet to come? And if so, why not tell us? Good article but … it seems to be cut short. Just as I was getting into it – it ended. Is there another part yet to come? And if so, why not tell us?

]]> By: Knee Deep in the Hooah! » Strengths and military marriages http://www.vamortgagecenter.com/blog/2009/01/09/strengths-and-military-marriages/comment-page-1/#comment-181977 Knee Deep in the Hooah! » Strengths and military marriages Fri, 09 Jan 2009 11:51:00 +0000 http://www.vamortgagecenter.com/blog/?p=966#comment-181977 [...] This is good stuff! keep reading —> [...] [...] This is good stuff! keep reading —> [...]

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